Machete

Jeri Jacquin, Movie Maven

Opening in theatres this Friday from director Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis is an action adventure with a twist in Troublemaker Studios showing of “Machete”

This film tells the story of Federale Agent Machete (Danny Trejo), who has been set up by drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal) and sees his wife murdered. Disappearing for years later, he is a day laborer in the streets of Texas.

One day he is approached by Booth (Jeff Fahey) and asked to assassinate Senator McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro), a man who is against immigration. Not only does Machete need to take care of them, but border vigilante Von (Don Johnson) as well.

Attempting to also rid themselves of problems is a group called The Network run in secret by Luz, also known as SHE’ the revolutionary, (Michelle Rodriguez). Suspecting her and trying to get to the bottom of things is Immigration Officer Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba).

Machete trusts no one after the assassination plot fails and he returns to the church to get help from his brother the Padre (Cheech Marin). But Booth hires his own assassin to take out Machete before the truth of what’s going on is revealed. Everyone involved with Machete bans together to do what is right.

When a man has nothing to lose – prepare to fight!

FINAL WORD: Trejo was the perfect person to play this role. His rugged looks and silent rage make the film. While everyone else is spouting words, Machete springs into action. Trejo is finally getting a chance to play the good guy action hero instead of the bad guy he is more famously known for. At 66 he has joined the rank and file year of the “older” action hero and rightfully so.

Rodriguez is a total badass and top girl in the film. She is physically fit, ripped, intelligent and just happens to run a roach coach. Alba is another lady with a gun but in very spiked heels who falls for Machete. Her speeches are heartfelt and hysterical all at the same time.

DeNiro, what can you say about DeNiro? He plays this role straightforward and, whether intentional or not, like a true cowardly weasel and it works beautifully. Johnson’s role is small but amusing and nice to see him and former “Nash Bridges” co-star in the same film.

Marin is once again a priest – I think he is just liking the ‘uniform’ – but has no problem grabbing a loaded weapon to help out his brother. I know everyone is waiting for me to say something about Lohan’s performance but I chose not to, see if for yourself and decide.

Other cast include: Lindsay Lohan as April, Cheryl Chin as the Torrez Henchwoman, Daryl Sabara as Julio, Gilbert Trejo as Jorge, Ara Celi as the Reporter and Tom Savini as Osiris Ampanpour.

What many may not know is that the film is based on a fake trailer Rodriguez inserted into his movie “Grindhouse” and “Planet Terror” in 2007. Trejo, Fahey and Marin who were in the trailer are reprising their roles in this film. Both of those films were co produced by Quentin Tarantino and is a producer on “Machete”.

Rodriguez wrote this script after he finished the 1995 “Desperado” which is another action hero with a cause film that lit up the box office.

TUBS OF POPCORN: I give “Machete” four tubs of popcorn out of five. This film is definitely rated R for its bloody violence, language, nudity and content but in the midst of all that is hilarity.

This could be compared to any B-movie you’ve ever seen yet loved, except better. The camp is there with humor all mixed together for a thrill ride. It is filled with puns about Mexicans, political messages washed in mire and none of it is to be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

I honestly didn’t expect to enjoy the film as much as I did (not a Seagal fan in the slightest). It is quite the change to watch an action film, applaud, yell, laugh, and laugh some more! So hit the theatres and have a great time.

In the end – he knows the score, he gets the women and he kills the bad guys!